What happened to grrrl power music?

I listen to pop music. I am not a cool, hip, indie rock person. I wish I were, but I just listen to whatever comes on when I turn on the car. But I do love Pink, who writes songs about drinking too much, and going out with friends, and getting into fights. I think I would like to hang out with her, except that she scares the crap out of me.

I also love Kelly Clarkson, who sings songs with titles like “Miss Independent” and “Since U Been Gone.” They are full of catchy beats and grrrl power and are just the thing for singing at the top of your lungs.

That is, until recently. 2009 gave us Pink singing “Please Don’t Leave Me.” I mean, she’s begging some guy to stay, even though he doesn’t like her. Then Kelly gave us “(My Life Would Suck) Without You,” which has some of the most reprehensible lyrics I’ve ever heard:

I know that I’ve got issues
But you’re pretty messed up too
Either way I found out
I’m nothing without you

What the heck, Kelly? This is on the same album as “I Do Not Hook Up”? Don’t you feel like you have some responsibility to the girls who are listening to this? Ladies, in case you were wondering, you ARE something, with or without him.

And then there’s Taylor Swift. You might have heard of Taylor Swift as “that girl whose speech Kanye West interrupted.” I have to admit that her music is as catchy as it gets. Bouncy, bubbly, happy music. Her hit “You Belong With Me” features a girl passively waiting for a boy to notice her. She waits…and waits…and waits. In the video, the boy finally realizes that hey, it’s Taylor Swift here, and she’s totally hot. In real life…? I can see why unrequited love is a popular theme among teenagers (I was a teenager once, you know) but let’s compare Taylor to Pink.

Here’s Taylor:

But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts
She’s Cheer Captain and I’m on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you’re looking for has been here the whole time

vs Pink:

We didn’t get all dressed up just for you to see
So quit spilling your drinks on me yeah
You know who you are
High fivin, talking ****… but you’re going home alone, aren’t ya?
Cause I’m not here for your entertainment…

What it comes down to is what we in the biz call agency. Are you active, or  passive? Furthermore, are you ok with being yourself, or do you require another human being to have self-worth?

In the Taylor Swift song, the only thing she can do is wait and hope. In the Pink song, and in the other songs I’m calling “grrrl power” songs, the girl is a whole person by herself and 2. has some agency, or can perform some action, on her own.

I have nothing against Taylor Swift, or Kelly, or Pink. I love their music—all of it. I’m just wondering aloud what it is in our collective 2009-10 air that has given us this group of very passive (and, dare I say it, anti-feminist) lyrics. If anyone has the answer, I’d love to hear it.